15-year-old named Arthur wants to change his 'grandpa name' to Dex, mom claims Dex is a fake name: 'She told me not to insult her'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Nicknames are powerful. They can become almost more important than your given name in some cases. But there are two types of nicknames: ones that you choose, and ones that are thrust upon you. Sometimes you have no choice. Your uncle points out your flat feet and calls you Flat Stanley, which evolves into just Stanley, and before you know it you're signing all your letters "Love, Stan." It can happen in a flash, and there's very little you can do about it. 

But some lucky folks choose their nicknames and manage to get everyone else on board. Say, for instance, you were born with an unfortunate name that you've been trying to escape your whole life. Then you roll up to freshman orientation at college and you have a golden opportunity and you take it. But there are only so many chances you get. That's the situation one child found himself in after years of hating his name. But his family didn't quite see it that way…

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    AITA for fighting with my mom over my nickname?
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    My parents gave me (15m) an old fashioned name "Arthur". It's my grandpa's middle name. He hates it and never ever uses it. But my parents wanted to honor him, mom specifically, and she decided Arthur was perfect because it was "vintage" unlike grandpa's first name.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    I hated my name always. Sometimes I get teased for having a grandpa name. Not as much anymore because old names are being used more for younger kids. But when I was younger it got really bad. My friends helped me come up with a nickname to use instead. It's
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    Dex. When I meet people I tell them my name is Dex. Teachers call me Dex, my friends and everyone at school calls me Dex, neighbors call me Dex. My dad calls me Dex. So does grandpa. But my mom? She's really mad that I use Dex all the time now. She argued that Artie would be better as juvenile as that is. I told
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    her that's not any better than Arthur. Mom said Arthur looks so much better than Dex on documents and at work. I told her she can change her name to Arthur then.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    Lately it's been really bad. She heard me and grandpa talk about how I want to change my name and grandpa told me he'd make that my 18th birthday gift, giving me the money to have it changed. I told him that was
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    great because I really wanted to get rid of Arthur. Grandpa told me he felt the same way. He also said Arthur had been his grandfather's first name. That's why it was his middle name. He had hoped it would end with him.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    Mom came at me when we got home from my grandparents house and she told me I was not changing my name to Dex. She said I have a perfectly good name, not something like Dex, which isn't even a real name. I told her I'd rather have a fake
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    name than Arthur. She told me to go by Michael then. But changing my name in three years is disrespectful and she raised me to be better. She told me my name is fashionable now (like I care) and that I shouldn't take people named Ryder, Sonny,
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    Brycen and Indigo seriously. I told her not to insult my friends names. She told me not to insult her. Dad had to step in and told mom to stop. Mom said I was fighting with my own mother over a nickname and it shows how disrespectful I am.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    Dashqu 4 hr. ago Honoring him by giving his grandson a name he, himself, hates? Did he drop your mom on her head when she was a baby??? "I told her she can change her name to Arthur then." Thats epic and you should keep repeating it every time she brings up your name. Like a broken record. Also, obviously NTA
    via u/Dashqu
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    MerlinBiggs 5 hr. ago NTA. You have every right to feel how you do about your own name. Your mum needs to get over herself and accept that. Like you said, she can change her own name to Arthur.
    via u/MerlinBiggs
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    WinFirm2694 OP. 4 hr. ago Hopefully she'll be able to come to terms with it in the next three years.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    cynical_old_mare . 4 hr. ago NTA - you're not fighting your mother over a "nickname" but over YOUR preferred name being used. for YOU.
    via u/cynical_old_mare
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    Mothers can and do have feelings over their children's names but when their children get old enough to express their own feelings (about something so intrinsic to them as their own name) then her feelings about her choice made at your birth should not really be the issue in question and those feelings should certainly not be driving what YOU are called now.
    via u/cynical_old_mare
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    It's not disrespectful to say that you really don't like the name you were given. It may be a little bit hurtful for her but you're not an accessory that she can model as she prefers but a human being in your own right. Why should her
    via u/cynical_old_mare
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    "right" not to have her choice criticised (which is what you're unwittingly doing) over-ride your right to be addressed as you prefer (within reason and picking a name that suits you is exactly that).
    via u/cynical_old_mare
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    Even-Significance122 4 hr. ago NTA, but Arthur really isn't that bad, it's a personal preference though.
    via u/Even-Significance122
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    ■ WinFirm2694 OP 4 hr. ago • I know people really like it now. To me I just can't get past the old man vibe of it. I also hate the nicknames for it. But it really is personal. Everyone will feel differently.
    via u/WinFirm2694
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    • DestronCommander 4 hr. ago Dex is real. It can be short for Dexter. Your grandpa hated Arthur and your mom knows it. Your mom is not AH for wanting to name you Arthur but she is for how she goes about your disdain for that name. NTA.
    via u/DestronCommander

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